This June The Burger’s Priest will celebrate its first anniversary of opening on Queen Street just east of Coxwell. For Shant Mandirosian and his team it has been a year of unexpected success. I’ve posted before about the place but the food is so good that just like the Stockyards it deserves another write-up.
Following in the footsteps of Now Magazine’s Steven Davey I’m going to risk a lifetime ban and list the Burger’s Priest secret menu. The blocks that build this menu are BP’s delicious house-ground, all-beef 4 oz. patties; the breaded and deep-fried portobello caps with cheese (i.e. the vegetarian alternative or “The Option” for short); and their pleasingly standard-issue compressible and absorbent bun. Here’s the standard menu as posted in the restaurant.
High Priest: I’m going to write this carefully so please read it that way: McDonald’s does not sell anything which one can defend, with a straight face and clear conscience, as obviously delicious (The McRib is the only even remotely-possible exception; the fries are the only historical exception in my living memory), but they have a lot of the ideas right in conception. Cutting potatoes into near shoe strings and cooking them until they’re just the far side of blond in a neutral-tasting fat (‘n’ chips taste like fish, and those from fried chicken joints also pick up flavours which are all well and good there but not with a burger) represents one of the great peaks in the french fry mountain chain. Similarly, putting a third bun between two beef patties so that it adds stability and absorbs extra juices and fat from its neighbours (better there than on your hands) as McD’s does with the Big Mac is a great idea.
The Burger’s Priest High Priest has a standard bun bottom as the “middle bun” and the usual Big Mac toppings (some of you must know the jingle by heart even though I needed to look at Youtube) including a take on Mac sauce. Great beyond words.
Holy Smokes: The standard double-double but with the addition of panko-breaded jalapeno peppers. Add “smoke” to any of the regular menu options.
Blue Steel and Magnum: The newest additions to the secret menu are named after two of the signature poses of Ben Stiller’s most fingernails-on-a-chalkboard character (and that’s saying something), Derek Zoolander. The Blue Steel adds blue cheese to the regular hamburger and the Magnum is a regular hamburger plus blue cheese and bacon. And, yes, if you want to order these you’ll have to make the faces so start practicing with a mirror and these youtube links. Both are worth the indignity.
The Vatican City: Grilled cheese sandwiches (the sandwiches are each made from two bun halves flipped so that the outsides face the cheese slice between them) stand in for buns. This is sort of the stuffed-crust of burgers–but delicious instead of ridiculous. The default setup here is a double-double but it sounds like you can “Vatican-style” any of the burger options.
The Pope: A double cheeseburger with an option between the two cheesed patties. This one is really delicious and massive without being over-the-top.
Tower of Babel: Like the Pope but with Vatican City style grilled cheese sandwiches for buns.
Judgment Day: Two Options with a cheesed patty between them. This addition to the secret menu was brought to my attention through this post on rock-it promotions’ On The Fourth Floor blog.
Armageddon: Same as the Judgment Day but with two cheesed patties squeezed between the Options.
Noah’s Ark: An Option with chili and cheese on a bun.
Religious Hypocrite: A veggie burger (the Option) with bacon added. This is the thin edge upon which all vegetarian resolutions balance and I admire any vegetarian who can resist this gateway drug. When I don’t feel like a High Priest or a Pope this is now my go-to “lighter” option.
Jarge-style: Taken from the above-mentioned Now Magazine review: “Tell them you want your Double Double (with extra fried onions, $8.99) cooked Jarge-style (pronounced Jarz-sh) and they’ll fry it in ballpark mustard. Sounds terrible, tastes terrific.” Those familiar with In-N-Out’s trademarked secret menu will know this as “Animal-style”.
Riggs and Murtaugh: The Yonge Street location does milkshakes and order this if you’re looking for a bit of chocolate milk in your vanilla shake.
Jarge-style shake: In typical Animal style that’s a vanilla, stawberry, and chocolate shake mixed together. Monstrosity or pretty good idea? If you’ve tried it leave a comment below and let us know.
The BP also mused about a Jonah–butter-braised lobster claw in the middle of a double-double–as a one-time secret menu addition on their facebook page.
From experience I can understand the desire to leave the building with your priestly burger and enjoy the warm weather but there is a right way to do this. Keep moving past the burger junkies mainlining beef grease on the parking curbs just beside BP and head south to Woodbine Park or even better the boardwalk at Ashbridges Bay. Whatever you do eat your fries on the way. The combined hydrophilic effects of salt, hot potatoes, and a tightly-closed paper bag will otherwise render them soggy. If anyone has developed a handlebar-mounted french fry holder I’m buyin’.
Read more about Burger’s Priest including:
- The smashed, griddled burger competitor, Holy Chuck that opened at St. Clair and Yonge.
- How Burger’s Priest did in a blind taste test of double cheeseburgers against Holy Chuck. (You might be surprised.)
- The new uptown Burger’s Priest location at 3397 Yonge Street, at Teddington Park north of Lawrence. It has the same hours as the original on Queen Street.